Simon Sinek is one of our favorite speakers on business topics. In our last posting, we talked about one of his “10 Rules for Success” . . . namely, the importance of continuous improvement. He challenges us to ask, every day, “How can we make our company a better company today than it was yesterday?” Now let’s look at two more of his rules involving communication. He has some thoughts about, not only communicating internally, but communicating with the outside world as well. To learn what “Simon says” about communication and the role it plays in success, please continue reading below.
“Be the last to speak.” ~ Simon Sinek
Be the last to speak? That’s a little counter-intuitive, isn’t it? Shouldn’t a leader lead by speaking first in order to set the tone for the coming discussion and to establish a broad direction for that discussion? Simon says, “No.”
To be clear, Sinek is not suggesting that a leader should be totally mute . . . only that a leader should not offer any opinions or conclusions until everyone else has had a chance to voice their opinions or conclusions. Here’s why.
- You want everyone to contribute, and you want them to feel their contribution has been heard and valued.
- You want to get everyone else’s thoughts on the table before you weigh in with your own. If you start by offering your thinking, people may believe that you’ve already made up your mind and that it’s pointless to share their own thoughts. Someone else may have a really great idea, but you probably won’t hear it . . . particularly if their thinking is at odds with yours.
But this is one of those things that’s easier said than done. Even when someone is offering an opinion with which you totally disagree, you’ve got to be attentive and allow them to finish what they’re saying. Be neutral. Don’t give yourself away by nodding or shaking your head or by allowing any other telltale body language.
You can, and should, ask clarifying questions . . . they demonstrate that you’re engaged and paying attention. However, a “clarifying question” that starts with, “Have you thoughtof . . . ?” is just a ploy to slip your own thoughts into the discussion. Don’t do that. Likewise, “Where was your head when you came up with that idea?” is also not a clarifying question.
We’ve been talking here about internal communications, but being the last to speak is not a bad idea for external communications as well. We can learn a lot if we give both customers and suppliers an opportunity to air their problems and concerns before we pile on with our own agenda. Salespeople in particular are prone to jumping immediately to product benefits without listening sufficiently to what the customer is trying to accomplish.
But Sinek offers another Rule for Success when communicating to the outside world. Simon says, “Be authentic.” When we try to be whatever we think a potential customer wants us to be, we risk gaining a customer with expectations that are not a good fit for what we truly do. On the other hand, when we’re comfortable just being ourselves and representing ourselves honestly, we end up attracting the customers we’re best-equipped to serve. Seems obvious, yet we still see companies causing themselves headaches because they’re so intent on “closing the deal” that they forget to be authentic.
Simon says, “Be the last to speak,” and “Be authentic.” Pretty good advice no matter who you’re speaking to.
