{"id":645,"date":"2015-08-19T10:00:38","date_gmt":"2015-08-19T10:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/?p=645"},"modified":"2025-07-01T17:20:23","modified_gmt":"2025-07-01T17:20:23","slug":"what-crucial-conversations-are-you-not-holding-or-not-holding-well","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/what-crucial-conversations-are-you-not-holding-or-not-holding-well\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cWhat crucial conversations are you not holding, or not holding well?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

Joseph Grenny is a New York Times best-selling author, a keynote speaker, and a social scientist who is passionate about good communication.\u00a0 More precisely, he is passionate about what he calls \u201ccrucial conversations\u201d . . . those conversations that are necessary, but are so fraught with real or imagined danger, or carry so much emotional baggage, that we just can\u2019t bring ourselves to engage in them.\u00a0 We\u2019re afraid that we will get a negative outcome, that the person we\u2019re trying to communicate with will either shut down, or lash out in some way.\u00a0 We\u2019re afraid that instead of clearing the air and giving us a fresh start, this conversation will damage the relationship and make matters worse.\u00a0 Grenny offers some suggestions for conducting a \u201ccrucial conversation\u201d in a way that will tilt the odds in favor of a positive outcome.\u00a0 To learn what he suggests, please continue reading below.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat crucial conversations are you not holding, or not holding well?\u201d\u00a0 – <\/span><\/strong>Joseph Grenny<\/em><\/p>\n

First, Grenny would like to dispel a myth . . . the myth that telling the truth will cost you friends.\u00a0 To the contrary, he argues, having an honest conversation about something important to both parties will deepen a relationship and make it more trusting.\u00a0 The trick is conducting the conversation in a way that is candid but respectful.<\/span><\/p>\n

To meet Grenny\u2019s definition of a \u201ccrucial conversation,\u201d the parties to the conversation must have:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Opposing opinions.<\/li>\n
  2. Strong emotional involvement.<\/li>\n
  3. High stakes in the outcome.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    So with those conditions in place, it\u2019s easy to see why we approach such conversations with some anxiety.\u00a0 While Grenny talks about several different ways to manage the conversation in ways that will keep it positive and productive, one of those ways is far more important than the others.\u00a0 At the very beginning of a \u201ccrucial conversation,\u201d he challenges us to \u201cmake it safe.\u201d\u00a0 If we fail to do that . . . if the other party feels threatened or endangered . . . a \u201cfight or flight\u201d response will kick in and the conversation will turn into an argument or the other party will retreat from the conversation altogether.<\/span><\/p>\n

    There are a couple of things we can do to make a crucial conversation \u201csafe.\u201d\u00a0 First, we need to establish \u201cmutual purpose\u201d . . . the idea that this is a problem for both of us (whatever the problem is), and we both care deeply about solving it.\u00a0 And second, we need to establish \u201cmutual respect.\u201d\u00a0 We each need to acknowledge that while we may not agree, our respective opinions and beliefs are both valid and honestly held.<\/span><\/p>\n

    None of this is to say that we should soft-peddle or sugar-coat tough issues so as not to offend our counterpart.\u00a0 In fact, Grenny says, to tiptoe around the tough issues defeats the whole purpose of a \u201ccrucial conversation\u201d which is to get the tough issues on the table where they can be discussed and debated.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Is there a \u201ccrucial conversation\u201d you\u2019ve been dreading and putting off?\u00a0 It should help to take Grenny\u2019s advice: view it as an opportunity to deepen a relationship, not as a threat to damage it.\u00a0 Then, by establishing mutual purpose and mutual respect, make it \u201csafe\u201d for both parties to be open and honest with one another.<\/span><\/p>\n

    We all have crucial conversations from time to time.\u00a0 They are inevitable.\u00a0 So navigating them successfully is an essential leadership skill.\u00a0 Master it!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Joseph Grenny is a New York Times best-selling author, a keynote speaker, and a social scientist who is passionate about good communication.\u00a0 More precisely, he is passionate about what he calls \u201ccrucial conversations\u201d . . . those conversations that are necessary, but are so fraught with real or imagined danger, or carry so much emotional<\/p>\n

    Read More\u2026<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[39,36,34,26,22],"tags":[96,97],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=645"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1188,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645\/revisions\/1188"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=645"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=645"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=645"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}