{"id":642,"date":"2015-08-05T10:00:47","date_gmt":"2015-08-05T10:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/?p=642"},"modified":"2025-07-01T17:20:24","modified_gmt":"2025-07-01T17:20:24","slug":"negotiations-are-built-on-agreement-not-disagreement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/negotiations-are-built-on-agreement-not-disagreement\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cNegotiations are built on agreement, not disagreement.\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

We tend to associate \u201cnegotiating\u201d with lawyers, politicians, and purchasing agents.\u00a0 But the fact is, we all negotiate.\u00a0 We negotiate compensation packages for new employees, we negotiate price and terms with our customers, we negotiate bedtimes with our kids, and household budgets with our spouses.\u00a0 So we all negotiate all sorts of stuff . . . at least, we try . . . but not always well or successfully.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

Jack Kaine is an expert on the art of negotiation.\u00a0 He has taught at Texas A&M, the University of Kansas, and at Stanford.\u00a0 He teaches negotiating skills to thousands of people each year in lectures and workshops.\u00a0 He is the president of his own management consulting firm, J.W. Kaine, Ltd.\u00a0 The material below is taken from Jack Kaine\u2019s\u00a0 presentation, \u201cNegotiating for Success.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t convey all the tips and concepts he discusses in that presentation, so I have selected the broad themes that I found most impactful.\u00a0 If you think your negotiating skills need some improvement and would like to learn some of Jack Kaine\u2019s tips for negotiating successfully, please read on.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNegotiations are built on agreement, not disagreement.\u201d <\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0– Jack Kaine<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

First, negotiating is not a competitive event.\u00a0 It\u2019s not a zero sum game where one can win only if the other loses.\u00a0 A big ego does not serve well here.\u00a0 It can turn negotiators into combatants, and cause a completely satisfactory agreement to be lost in the search for a perfect agreement.\u00a0 A good negotiator understands that there has to be a win\/win solution or the negotiation will fail and everybody loses.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe only reason you are negotiating is out of ignorance,\u201d says Kaine.\u00a0 \u201cIf a fair and impartial decision were known to all parties prior to the negotiation, it would eliminate the need to negotiate.\u201d\u00a0 Taken from that perspective, a negotiation is a fact-finding mission aimed at uncovering what the other side is trying to accomplish.\u00a0 To do that, a skilled negotiator not only needs to ask smart, insightful questions, but also needs to listen intently to the answers.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s important to understand what<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0the other side is trying to do without getting hung up on how<\/em><\/strong> they\u2019re trying to do it.\u00a0 The \u201chow\u201d question is where the negotiating comes in.\u00a0 If you clearly understand where they are trying to go, you can offer alternative ways for them to get there . . . ways that work for both of you.\u00a0 For instance, let\u2019s say you\u2019re a supplier to a manufacturing company and they\u2019re trying to get you to lower your price by 10%.\u00a0 But through your clever questioning, you know their broader goal is to lower their manufacturing cost.\u00a0 Beating you up over your price is simply the tactic they\u2019re using to do that.\u00a0 So you counter their demand for a reduced price by saying, \u201cWhat if we can prove to you that by using our product, your equipment will be able to run faster, with less waste, and save you 15%?\u201d\u00a0 The trick is to keep everyone flexible and avoid letting anyone take a hard position.<\/span><\/p>\n

In your questioning, Kaine advises asking \u201cwhat\u201d questions rather than \u201cwhy\u201d questions.\u00a0 A \u201cwhat\u201d question feels like a neutral request for information.\u00a0 A \u201cwhy\u201d question feels more like a challenge and may evoke an emotional response.\u00a0 Asking \u201cWhy did you do that?\u201d may make the other party feel they need to defend an action rather than explain it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t negotiate against yourself.\u00a0 That is, don\u2019t lower your price or ease your terms before the negotiation even begins.\u00a0 When the negotiation does start, you won\u2019t get any credit for concessions the other side never knew you made.\u00a0 And when you do make a concession, make sure you get something in return.\u00a0 For example, if the other party is asking for a price 5% below what you\u2019ve proposed, you might say, \u201cYes, I can do that for you if you can accept delivery in fifteen days instead of ten.\u201d\u00a0 If you don\u2019t do that, the other party will think you were trying to gouge them for an extra 5%, and whatever relationship you may have developed will be damaged.<\/span><\/p>\n

The over-riding concept here is that a successful negotiation is built on trust.\u00a0 It\u2019s a partnership whereby both parties have a vested interest in a successful outcome.\u00a0 As long as each \u201cpartner\u201d fully understands the goals of the other, and as long as each is committed to working honestly together to achieve those goals, a successful outcome will be within your reach.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We tend to associate \u201cnegotiating\u201d with lawyers, politicians, and purchasing agents.\u00a0 But the fact is, we all negotiate.\u00a0 We negotiate compensation packages for new employees, we negotiate price and terms with our customers, we negotiate bedtimes with our kids, and household budgets with our spouses.\u00a0 So we all negotiate all sorts of stuff . .<\/p>\n

Read More\u2026<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[39,36,34,26,25,24,16],"tags":[93,94,95],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=642"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":643,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/642\/revisions\/643"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=642"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=642"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rocksolidbizdevelopment.com\/ourblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=642"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}